You are the kind of beautiful that chases away the darkness. The kind that gives meaning to light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot comprehend it. Shine my princess. Your light is my love❤️
– Jesus (May 2018)
This year is coming to an end and I’m not sure how to feel. I sit here and I think of this time last year and how unsure I was. I think of the place I was and where I am now and it’s almost impossible not to see the growth. But then again, like a caterpillar when it metamorphoses, it breaks apart and sheds skin and I have walked through those two roads.
This year for me was metamorphosis. This is how metamorphosis works for a butterfly. It starts out as an egg – tiny, almost insignificant and then it hatches and out comes a caterpillar, crawling through the earth, eating things only within its reach. Happy and content because nowhere in its little mind does it believe that within it is the capability to fly, so it crawls. In this stage, it eats and eats and it seems as if nothing is happening on the outside but so much is changing on the inside. There’s a little skin shedding here and there but the most work is happening inside as body parts are changing and new things are growing and then one day, wings emerge and this caterpillar transforms to a beautiful butterfly.
This was me this year. Last year (2017) I was the egg that hatched and it was a very painful process where it felt like I was breaking and cracking in so many different parts but I cracked open and out came the caterpillar. This year wasn’t painful but rigorous and there were so many times I got frustrated because I’ll look at the promises the father made to me and it seemed as though nothing was happening. This year more than ever before, I saw my flaws rise to the surface and I would cringe and cry and ask God “who is this person?” There was a lot of learning and unlearning. There was enlightening and direction but in the time that these things were happening, I didn’t see it because this transformation was happening on the inside of me and at some point, even though I couldn’t see it, I began to feel it. I knew something had changed on the inside of me. I could feel the shift and one day, close to the end of the year, I woke up and discovered I had wings to fly.
I haven’t attempted flying yet but I know these wings work because that’s who I am. I always wondered why the butterfly is called different things at different stages of its growth. (This is talk for another day) But my name has changed and so has my design. I know that in trying to fly, I might fall severally and it might be discouraging but I was created to fly and that’s all I’ll be doing this 2019 – trying out these new wings I’ve been given and I don’t just intend to fly but to soar – to endless places, to heights that my mind struggles to imagine, to break boundaries and test the sky. This is adieus to my comfort zone. So here I am – Afraid, Scared, Nervous, Excited for what this new year brings but I’m ready, with every fiber of my being, I’m ready.
I don’t know what season you are at this moment or at this point but I want you to know that within you is the capacity to fly. Are you ready?💛
Come. Let’s fly together. There’s a whole world out there waiting to be seen!
Thank you for taking this journey with me with every post this year. I love you guys. What were your favourite posts from this year? Let me know in the comment section.
What were the highlights of your year? Let’s talk!
Here’s a very short spoken word piece I recorded recently titled “Metamorphosis” I hope you enjoy it💛