I fINALLY SAW YOU! (Yes the caps lock is there because I’m screaming😂) Pictures don’t do you justice which is funny because I on the other hand, I’m a catfish. Everything about you exudes Confidence and finesse (people would argue with me that you’re not all that or not that fine but I honestly think those people don’t have taste)
You came in after the worship in your pressed shirt and grey slacks, your hair combed to perfection an evidence of how much you pay attention to detail. Everything about you was so arranged and in order down to your toenails. I had to keep myself from screaming when you came out to give your testimony. I’m glad your mum is better, I prayed for her too.
Imagine my surprise when you walked up the pulpit to take the message. YOU WERE THE GUEST PREACHER! I did my best to hold myself from breaking out in a dance or screaming. I watched you hold the entire room to ransom with the words that escaped your lips, your eyes shining with passion for the Jesus that you preached. I, however, I was completely mesmerized. Your words held me captive as they opened my eyes to scripture in ways I never saw it before but at the same time, there was a rhythm to your movement, a flair to your charisma that kept my eyes glued to you. You deserve some accolades because all of you is a blessed assurance. Sweet yummy gorgeousness spilling out in beautiful appeal. You my brother in the Lord are a spice. A true gem.
I’ve been wondering about something for quite a while now but that would have to be for later because I can not afford to digress. After waiting for the close of church to finally approach you and at least say hi, you came to me! Can you imagine!!! Me! You walked in slow deliberate steps and I organized myself waiting for you to get to me. (Maybe the good lord had given you a message for me) You came, eyes unmoving and I stood grounded, firmly planted to the spot I was. As you came closer, you started to wave and my heart did summersaults as I smiled and waved back. Your eyebrows knitted in a small frown and I assumed I had maybe waved wrongly.
One step away and you called out her name.
I turned to see my choir head standing behind me in her pretty dress. Apparently, you both go “way back” You hadn’t been walking to me after all. Who was I kidding? You had no idea who I was. I wish that was the worst part. I wish my shame ended there but no. Mercy said no😂 and just as you got to my front, I sneezed with reckless abandon and watched the snot from my nose fly almost too accurately to your shirt. I watched it all and spread on your neat white shirt and I wanted the ground to just open and swallow me. I looked up at saw your face twist in…. sigh. I cannot even write that down for fear that I may be more ashamed.
What do you do when you want to disappear but the world keeps moving around you? What do you do when you want to die of shame? How do you move on?
Please don’t ask me what happened next, I’m too ashamed to say. I’m tired. I need to go now.
With little courage
And much shame
With my head in my hands
Your not so potential woman crush💔