There is a place in my side where if you stand close enough to the barbed wire fence, you can almost feel the waves crashing close to you. It’s a stunning side view of the Lekki bridge in all its splendor. Cars packed together on the bridge in slow almost not moving traffic, their headlights blending beautifully well with the streetlights on the bridge creating an almost magical blend. It’s like a gorgeous still life motion painting😂 At moments like this, I wish I owned a camera. A good one, not the type those old men carry around in parties and weddings forcing you to buy the poor looking printout. I wish I owned a camera to capture all of this stunning beauty so that the next time I feel down or want to be reminded of something beautiful, I only need to take another glance at it and be reminded that there is beauty in unnoticed places.
(Taken with my phone camera)
I don’t know if it’s because it’s so close to shore, maybe it’s the effect from the proximity of the water but the breeze feels so cool. It permeates through your every pore and registers it’s cool freshness. If this were a movie, my hair would be billowing in the wind as I stand by the fence with tear stained cheeks. But this is not a movie and I don’t have long hair.
I have digressed from the matter at hand. The real catch for me really is the barbed wire fence. As outstanding as the view is beyond it, I can’t seem to take my mind off that tangled, mushy, distorted looking fence. Something about it reminds me of me. I look through the holes in the barbed wire and realise how much of the beautiful view I can’t see through the fence because of the growing weeds surrounding it. In as much as it had holes, they weren’t effective for looking through because they were severely bent out of shape. It was then, at that instant, that I realized why it reminded me of me.
I view the things that are to come through the lens of what had been.
Things have happened to me that I cannot start to tell now not because of anything in particular but because I’m conscious of the time as I write. It would take hours to properly dissect and relate them but somehow everyday, I relieve them in my subconscious. I think of the future and I mentally make decisions based off of things that have happened to me in the past. Like that fence that had been bent out of shape, if only I could look above it and not through it. Maybe, just maybe I would see all the gorgeous beauty that lay ahead of me. Maybe, I would finally see road.
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What is your barbed wire? What is it that has happened to you and wrapped itself so completely around your life that you can’t even see the length to which it goes or the depth to which it reaches. For some, it’s something someone has said or something someone did. Maybe it’s something you did but haven’t forgiven yourself for. They say “we are a summation of everything we have been through” It’s time to trash that. Rather than it define us, why not let it strengthen us. Strengthen us enough to look above the barbed wire and not through it. This barbed wire, which we now call “Insecurities” are nothing but limitations.
To you who is insecure about anything, you who feels less than you gloriously are, (I woke up thinking about you today. You’re so loved that a message came for you in my dream) I have a voice note that I recorded for you. It’s nothing fancy and a little rough around the edges but the message within is key.
You are beautiful. You are special. You are chosen. Nothing you do or don’t do will mar or change this. You are loved beyond reason. You are Gold. You are fire. You are magic. You were made for more. Spread your wings and fly.