Happy new year beautiful people. Thank you for staying with me all through 2016. You guys are the best😘 I have a short story to share today. Enjoy!
“Ehn? What did you say?”
“I said I’m tired of church”
I watched my moms face turn ashy pale at the sound of those words. It was hardened like bread that had been left out almost too long. One would think I had committed a third world crime. On a normal day, I might have cared and taken back my words. But this wasn’t a normal day. I was tired and I meant it.
“Lola, how can you say that?”
Her face gradually became twisted and contorted. She was crying now. Why was she so dramatic?
I stared at her wondering how I was going to start venting my frustrations or wondering if I even should. I knew in that moment that no reason I gave her would be good enough. Only backsliders and unbelievers say such abominable words. And God forbid I was either of the two. She would rather die than believe such. Did she even care about what I wanted? Most times, I wondered if I was the only one seeing these things. The endless dragged out prayer sessions in which we were constantly binding or casting some unseen agent of the devil. Or the ones that lasted for hours were we were told to pray and decree for money and cars and prosperity like God was our sugar daddy. At least sugar daddies got benefits. Did God really get any? I wondered. There’s no way this could be his extraordinary plan for mankind. To do the same thing day in, day out. Reciting verses that we barely understood, constantly learning but like Paul said never coming to the knowledge of the truth, singing songs that we didn’t believe out of habit. We were like poorly mechanised robots.
Don’t even get me started on the fake smiles and backbiting. Whatever happened to the fruits of the spirit they used to teach us about? What was the point of church if there was no effect on our lives. So many programs, so little impact. With all the manifestations and falling down that happened at the countless deliverance services they held, one would expect to see a radical difference. That was never the case. Go in expecting to meet with God, come out feeling worse off because you met with his aunties and uncles, people who had come to believe they knew God better than anyone – gatekeepers of heaven, too busy ferociously manning the gates, they never actually enjoy his presence. Then it rubs off on the rest of us as we shuffle in and out of the routine that we have become accustomed to.
Monotonous, boring charades. I was sick of it.
My mom gasped in horror. From the look on her face, I realize I had been almost too vocal with my thoughts. I hadn’t even known I was talking aloud.
I instantly dodged expecting a slap. It never came.
“I’m sorry” I said
As she plunked down on the bed speechless and exasperated, I looked at her face and I knew. There was nothing to be said. She understood. How wouldn’t she? She too was tired.
I don’t know why you go to church or if you even do at all (maybe you’re a once in a while sort of person, that’s cool too) but in this new year, let’s make sure we’re not playing church. Don’t just go through the motions. Seek Jesus, find him and experience him for yourself. Let him find expression through you.
All my love,