Shame

You guys!! I have gist. Although this blog post has been long overdue (Not too long though more like traffic gala expiration date) Lol, your girl has been a bit under the weather. But I’m here now to tell the story. Something epic happened to me on sunday and i am more than willing to share. Today’s post is slightly different from the usual but please indulge me. It’s story time, Are we ready?

Story, story *insert chorus* Lol

So on sunday, i was supposed to lead (Solo) the choir ministration. Lets start from here, I’m in the choir department back here at home and for those who know me you would know that I am naturally a very shy person and so i often try to refrain from anything that brings me to the spotlight. (Doesn’t always work though) So back to the story, so during one of our rehearsals, i was asked to solo the song we would minister to the church on Sunday and i panicked. I was like…

wp-1469743952337.jpeg

However, this was a song that i personally loved and it had been a source of strength to me many times when I was down so i was like “No wahala, what’s the worst that could happen?” Especially because lately, I’ve been learning a lot about stepping out of your comfort zone and letting God use you. So i eventually obliged. Rehearsal was great, all went well. I still went home much later to do some personal rehearsal of my own in front of my mirror. (Anything to build confidence) Fast forward to sunday when it was time for the ministration, i stepped out like…

images-3.jpeg

I was in that zone where i was feeling so full of the Holy Ghost. The worship session earlier had been intimate for me so i was feeling pretty enthusiastic, sort of like i was walking on the cloud. I proceeded to make a small introduction to the song and warm their hearts a little to receive the ministration (Talking has never really been a problem for me so that kind of went well) I could see some heads in the congregation go like…

images-4.jpeg

And I felt encouraged to go on, feeling pumped. Sort of how i imagined Peter must have felt the moment his feet stepped on that ocean, in the brief moment when he actually walked on water (Lol. I love this story so much guys, pardon me) Anyways, the tune started playing and i took my stance of worship like…

images-5.jpeg

I was ready. And this is when it happened. I opened my mouth to sing and I FROZE!! Like all that escaped my lips was a faint squeak and an awkward hurried apology. I wanted to die. How?? This was a song that i knew like the back of my hands, a song i had rehearsed countless times. I literally still sang the song barely a minute before walking up on the alter and yet, there I was, frozen, with the tune playing and my befuddled choir members behind me, waiting on me like the Israelites must have waited on Moses before the Red Sea. I eventually found my voice later on and it was somewhat too late because everything just sort of went downhill from there. I was such an awkward mess, I sang… but it didn’t take away the embarrassment I was already feeling.

smile thru da

As soon as the ministration was over, I ran back to my seat, trying so hard to mask the shame I was feeling. But good news people, I got over it eventually and before the end of the service, i was smiling genuinely and I was okay (The story behind that is a bant for another time) and we all lived happily ever after. Thats the end of my story.

Lesson for today: Lol, there’s always a lesson to learn guys. Although there were many things i learned from this Let-the-ground-just-swallow-me moment, and there were many things i could have probably done to prevent it from happening, that’s not our focus for today. I understood something, shame is like a mask, it’s a temporary covering until the wearer decides otherwise. Whatever it is you did, or that happened that still leaves you feeling guilty or ashamed, let it go.Β 

-Your struggles today will become tomorrow’s memories. Someday, you’ll laugh at whatever it is you’re going through. This too will pass.

– Most times, our shame comes from how people start to see us, we wonder what they will say if they knew or maybe they already know, you start to imagine the things they’re saying. We cannot find our identity in what other people think about us because people don’t think about us in the way we think they do. No one really said anything to me after service, guess why? The mask was off (shame) People relate to what they see, I hope you get.Β 

Last but not least, step out of your comfort zone, you might flop, it might sink, but you will learn from it and you would be better. Even though he drowned, Peter was still the only disciple who walked on water.Β 

 

4 thoughts on “Shame

  1. Shame is a trap for the weak but a signboard for the brave, until u remove the veil of shame from your face, you will never see the fame in u. Nice piece

    Like

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s