“It’s not you, it’s me”

Like what does that even mean? As I sat in my bed with my legs folded beneath my chin trying with every ounce of strength in me, not to cry, I slowly wondered to myself when words so simple and ordinary gained so much power to cause profound pain and manipulate the good old 

“It’s over, I don’t like you anymore”

 I wondered maybe if people just told the truth as it were instead of cloak it in between calculated words that have lost all of their meaning, maybe, just maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much…

   I wondered who thought up that statement in the first place- maybe he or she (I hear females say it too) might have been trying to be nice about it. But is there really a nice way to say stuff like that? I think it hurts no matter how nicely you say it. It’s like asking someone to hit your head with a rock nicely. I don’t think that can happen. 

    I also wondered why he was leaving if I was ‘perfect’ and not the problem. Like if the problem isn’t with me but with you why not stay and let us fix you together. Or maybe he was lying and just didn’t like me anymore. Was that even the case?

     I wondered if that was it. Or maybe he had seen someone else. Someone supposedly imperfect like him, at least enough to catch his fancy. There’s also the fact that he might just be tired. Tired of having me in his life. I could be such a bother sometimes. Who knows? Maybe my continuous stressing had finally worn off on him. If I was not the problem, then why was he leaving? 

      “Hello, Kemi. Are you there?” 

I quickly snap out of my thoughts. I must have forgotten I was on the phone and he was still at the other end waiting for me. Waiting for me to do what? Had he asked a question? Or was it a reply to something he had said? I couldn’t quite remember. 

   “God, Kemi are you crying? Why are you so quiet? Is something wrong? Stop all of this and say something joor. Talk to me please” He swore under his breath. 

   I must be missing something here. “I’m here Michael. I’m not crying”

     “Oh. You were so quiet I was wondering why you stopped talking after I read to you what I just saw on a sign board”

        “Wait. What you saw on a sign board?” 

       “Yes. You know how Nigerians are. Just saw ‘Its not you, It’s me’ written in big bold letters on a signboard so I decided to tell you about it. Weren’t you listening to anything I was saying?”

    I let my mind take me back two minutes. He must have been explaining all this while and I barely even heard a thing. My mind instantly travelled the moment I heard those words. I immediately felt foolish. 

LOL. Don’t lie, you already made conclusions too. 

Moral lessons: #1. Before you assume, remember to ask. Voice your opinions and hear the clarifications. If you don’t speak up, no one knows what you’re thinking

#2. Hear the full story before you make judgments. Don’t make conclusions when the chapter is just beginning. 

What are your thoughts on Its not you, It’s me? Lol.


7 thoughts on “Assumptions

  1. Initially I thought Michael was breaking up with Kemi cos when someone says its not you its me to the opposite sex its usually about a break up. Oh the phrase “its not you,its me, can mean when someone is oweing up for the wrong they did and was blamed on another person. I love how you bring out morals out of every story. Thank you for the moral lessons. I’ve learnt a lot. God bless you and grant you the grace and skill to write more inspiring messages.


    1. Thank you for your comment. And I couldn’t agree more. It’s not you, it’s me has now come to mean ‘It’s over’ and thank you for reading. Glad you learnt something. Amen to your prayers


  2. I knew u writers can like to b dramatic so I was waiting for the end to be sure what’s happening.. lool. #JudgeNot. it’s sounds really simple. but most times we finish judging (concluding) and get to the point of “i thought it was… ” before remembering Matt 7:1


  3. Okay so I could be guilty of this sometimes lol…..well it’s really insightful and I love how you made me do it again, judge before I read the whole story..I hope I practice the moral lessons..


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