I stare at the paper in my hands for what seems to be the tenth time in that same minute. I had been staring at it nearly all day and considering the fact that it was still morning, that should make it about four hours since it landed in my palms. But still I stared. As if staring would make it less true. Or maybe make it vanish. I really had no clue what I was thinking but it was all I could do from panicking. So I stared and let the tears flow freely from my eye gates drowning the titanic that was my heart, the words becoming less visible by the minute as my tears blurred then from my vision. Even then, I could see those words in my mind’s eye. Words that would haunt me forever
Signed and sealed,
(Well, those weren’t the exact words though. But that’s what it seemed like to me)
What do you do when all that you feared seems to be happening faster than you think? When the very grounds of your belief are shaken? What would people say? I wondered. Should I abort? Was this some sort of punishment for my sins? If it was, then killing it wouldn’t make much of a difference would it? After all, sin was sin. My head pounded with too many questions, my brain making way too many calculations. But yet, all the while, I stared. Because that’s all I could do.
That was me nine months ago. Fast foward from all the pains, countless fights, depression and inner struggle I had to endure because of the decision I eventually settled with. I chose to choose his way. It wasn’t the easy way but it was the right way. Doesn’t matter if I had made mistakes, he loved me still. It was the least I could do to get back on track. I kept the baby that has now come to be my happiness. And no, it isn’t easy. But I tackle each day at a time understanding that in all of my struggle, he’s there for me. That’s why now, even as the year ends, I smile. Because I’m a survivor and someday my story would be a testimony; Helping numerous people not to lose their way. My mistake doesn’t define me. It was merely a comma in the bestseller novel that is my life. So wait on it, he’s not done with me yet. And before you judge me, look inwards and realize that like me, you’re imperfect. Loved by a perfect God
– Story by a beautiful friend with a beautiful heart…x
*Don’t forget to share your stories. And I hope you learnt something from this